


Things I Cannot Say

by happy_lil_gay



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Mentions of Lams, Pining, diary entry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 09:39:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10087889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happy_lil_gay/pseuds/happy_lil_gay
Summary: Recently, I stated that I would be content if he kissed me and touched me over and over again and nothing more, I wish that were so.





	

I know I am incapable of writing masterpieces like those that Alexander writes, I am aware that I am incapable of eloquently putting my thoughts on paper the way he does, however, I find it necessary for me to sit and let out all those thoughts that I can not share with others here. Today the thing that plagues my thoughts is none other than in impure, unintentional love, for Alexander. Recently he has begun to court and eligible bachelorette by the name of Elizabeth Schuyler, she is kind and seems to make Alexander happy which as his friend I should follow suit in his joy, but, I do not, I am jealous.

Have I any right to be jealous? No, he is not, nor has he ever been, mine. That knowledge seems to escape me when he speaks of her and jealousy wraps it cold fingers around me. It is impossible for me to express my feelings to him as it would be improper for such a relationship to ever exist in the eyes of society and the laws of the lord. However, that is not what stops me. I fear that if I tell him that I love him he will remain unswayed in his affections for Eliza.

Sometimes, in the evening, when everyone has retired and the camp is still, he kisses me. Alexander is promiscuous and for that I will not condemn him but when we wake in the morning pretending our hands weren’t on each other the previous night I feel trapped. Recently, I stated that I would be content if he kissed me and touched me over and over again and nothing more, I wish that were so. If I tell him how my heart pounds around him or how I feel light whenever he is near I fear that what little affection he gives me will be taken as well.

I am stuck, I wish to stop this but I have no knowledge of how to do so.


End file.
